


Kuolema

by holymalfoys



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coping, Death, Grief, I deadass wrote this in 30 minutes oof, M/M, Sadness, letter to a loved one, sorry for breaking your heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 15:47:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15099980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holymalfoys/pseuds/holymalfoys
Summary: To you, Draco, my only love.





	Kuolema

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 30 minutes. Like all of my other works, it's unedited, so enjoy any mistakes.

To you, Draco, my only love.

There’s so much I need to say, but there’s so little time, and I fear that my vocabulary is too limited to write what is necessary to share with you. That was always my biggest flaw, wasn’t it? My lack of communication.

But believe me when I tell you this, Draco; I’m trying. I’m trying, trying so hard, to make a change.

It’s not easy. It never was going to be, but I’m trying, and that’s a start.

I miss you. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you, of your smile, of your beauty. Your intensity still surprises me sometimes, when I’m looking at our old photos.

Do you remember the time when you dyed your hair pink for that muggle charity? I do, and my heart breaks a little more every time I remember your reaction to seeing it for the first time. You loved it, and you told me that you’d keep it pink forever.

God, you were so beautiful, Draco, both inside and out. What did I ever do to deserve you?

I was so hopelessly in love with you. I still am, and I will be forever. You changed my life, Draco Malfoy, and I’m so eternally grateful for that.

Remember the time I taught you how to play poker? You were so enthusiastic about it, Draco, so eager to learn more about the world, that it didn’t matter that you had no idea what you were doing- your ferocity shone through as you tried time and time again to learn how to win. You were so determined to learn how to play a bloody muggle game that you didn’t give a hoot about the laughter (which you waved off with a hand full of poker chips) that surrounded you as your eyebrows drew together and you chewed your lips, deep in thought.

I think that was the night I realised I was in love with you.

I never wanted to let you go, Draco. I never wanted to let you leave my bed, my flat, ever again, not after that night.

Hermione says that writing this letter will help me get over my grief, but I don’t think she’s correct. This is just opening old wounds that never should have existed.

Draco. Draco, you were my dragon. You were so beautiful, Draco, such a wonderful, kind person who wanted to right what was wrong in the world. The past meant nothing to you (except it did, even if you didn’t like admitting it to yourself) and you saved so many people after the War.

I think everyone fell in love with you, Draco.

You were my world. You were my universe, my everything, and you were so incredible, so intelligent, so perfect.

My heart shatters every morning when I realise that my bed is cold and empty. The pain sets itself deep in my bones when I enter the kitchen and you’re not there with your long hair and sleepy eyes and a smile so wide that nothing in the world would ever shine as bright as it. Time stops when I go to make your cup of coffee but then realise that you’re not there, that you’re gone forever.

The world didn’t deserve you, Draco, and I think that’s why it took you away.

We received the news on a cold December morning, after you’d been so violently sick that I thought you had left me; Healer Jones rushed to our flat and immediately transported you to St Mungo’s, where my world crashed around my ears and your eyes dimmed a little.

I was so scared, Draco- you have no idea how terrified I was when it was revealed that you were dying. I thought I was going to die.

I would have died, if it meant that you’d still be here.

Merlin, you were so strong. You were so determined to beat this illness, so incredibly fiery, that you shone brighter than the sun ever will.

Remember when we went to Rome, Draco? You were in a wheelchair, but you didn’t let it stop you. Your fascination was intoxicating as we travelled cobbled pavements and visited Gelato shops and visited all the sights.

I have a photo of you, your skin so incredibly pale and your eyes tired but your smile so, so gorgeous, eating an ice-cream in front of the Colosseum. You’d complained about the heat, but you were so awed by it all that you forgot about it almost instantly.

That was our final trip together, Draco. You passed a mere month later, as I held you in my arms and you told me that you loved me for the last time before the light left your beautiful eyes and smile, and my earth spun off its axis.

I think you’ll be glad to know that your funeral was a quiet affair. Your mother was so incredibly heartbroken that I could feel her pain as I clutched her hand in the front row.

I think I was still in denial- my beautiful Draco, gone? No, I didn’t believe it- refused to believe it.

But it sunk in. It sunk in, and now it’s so deep within me that I will never, ever be able to escape it.

I miss you terribly, Draco, and I love you with every ounce of my being. I’m going to keep going on for you, my love, because it’s all you ever wanted- to see me succeed- even if it kills me eventually.

I love you, Draco Malfoy, and I’m so grateful that I had you for the time I did.

Forever Yours,

\- Harry James Potter.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for breaking your heart- oops?


End file.
